The Strong-Willed Child

So - I'm in the process of reading "The Strong-Willed Child" by Dr. James Dobson and on Saturday morning I was reading the excerpt for "Two to Three Years" and this is what some of it said:

"Perhaps the most frustrating aspect of the 'terrible twos' is the tendency of kids to spill things, destroy things, eat horrible things, fall off things, flush things, kill things, and get into things. They also have a knack for doing embarrassing things, like sneezing on a nearby man at a lunch counter. During these toddler years, any unexplained silence of more than thirty seconds can throw an adult into a sudden state of panic."

In a later paragraph he says:

"You must keep a sense of humor during the twos and threes in order to preserve your own sanity. But you must also proceed with the task of instilling obedience and respect for authority."

As I sat there and contemplated what I just read I realized that for the most part Rhett has been a pretty easy child. Other than eating discusting things and falling relatively often due to his intense need to make it from point A to point B in the least amount of time possible, I can say that I felt fortunate that he follows the rules for the most part. Neither of my children are outright defiant - at least not to the extent that was illustrated in some other parts of this section.

And it just goes to show that I should not have wrote Rhett off so easily - he is only turning 3 so why in the world did I think that this fairly easy child has somehow escaped the "terribleness" of the toddler years. And I'm sure that JUST because I read that specific section in this book that morning he JUST happened to take purple marker and color all over his sister's blanket and himself - he literally looked like a purple monster when I found him - stomach and hands compeltely covered in purple. I did find the humor in it fortunately and if I hadn't read that section this morning I may not have - so thank God for that. I did discuss with him the importance of preserving our things and not to write on ourselves or blankets - just paper. And to think that wasn't enough - in the evening he proceeded to take some scissors and attempt to cut some pages out of a book (a book that doesn't belong to us). Luckily I caught him in time and he quickly dropped the scissors and looked at me in the most comical way - he had been caught and he knew it. - Where did this come from all of the sudden? Was God preparing me for what lies ahead this year with Rhett by making me read that section of the book "just in time".

So - I am grateful today for Dr. James Dobson and his intelligent insight into the lives of my children. I have not finished the book yet but am learning so much as I read it - I wish I would have picked it up earlier in my parenting. I especially liked the part later in this particular section that said:

"I cannot emphasize the importance of instilling two distinct messages within your child before he/she is forty-eight months of age: (I think it's important at ANY age) (1) 'I love you more than you can possibly understand. You are precious to me and I thank God every day that He let me raise you:' (2) 'Because I love you, I must teach you to obey me. That is the only way I can take care of you and protect you from things that might hurt you. Healthy parenthood can be boiled down to those two essential ingredients, love and control, operating in a system of checks and balances.'"

It seems that I may need to use this system often in regards to my "almost" three-year old this coming year.