I've always gone - to church I mean, even when my dad was not a pastor - he was heavily involved in teaching sunday school and had a great group of friends in which our families hung out all the time.
Then he became a pastor and our life changed - we moved - which proved to be a challenge as well as an adventure. Going to church continued - only this time I was "the pastor's daughter" and not just a kid at church. It didn't take much getting used to because I was used to church - I was just there a lot more often than before and being a kid that was just the way it was and I got used to it - it became the norm and it was fine. It's become a deep color in the fabric of my life - a color that you just couldn't wash out - it's stuck there - it's part of me - of who I am! So - don't blame me too much when church (especially "my" church) may get a bad rap and I get a little defensive - just saying.
I have my issues with church - who doesn't? It's not perfect (surprise! surprise!) - because the people are the church and we aren't perfect - just saved - by grace - sometimes again, and again, and again, and again. And that is what makes it great! Church should be a safe haven where we can hear the word of God preached truthfully and worship together as a family regardless of what we think of each other, the music, the pastor, the lady sitting a few rows down who is wearing a tight-fitting, figure-showing dress (who does she think she is? - this is church?) - we all know that attitude (don't fool yourself!). We don't come to church for each other - we come to worship and grow. I need to remember this myself every time I change 5 times before church or worry that my hair isn't perfect or that my nails aren't painted - it's not about me at all! My reason for coming to church needs to change - you see growing up in the church I became a little "immune" if you will to the "God-ness" of it all - it lost it's luster (but did it really have any due to the fact that since I was born I graced the halls of a church almost every Sunday). It's like if you grew up wealthy - you wouldn't appreciate the $1000.00 dollar shoes that your mom bought you for your birthday - in fact you may just give a faint "thanks" as you wonder why she didn't buy you the $3000.00 designer ones. You can't blame that person - they know no different! It's part of who they have been and who they are.
What's even crazier is that taking church and God for granted has far graver consequences than throwing out a $1000.00 pair of shoes. The best love story of all time has been at my fingertips every Sunday and I have failed to fully grasp the awesomeness of it all - because I've heard it so often. Over and over and over and over again. I need to understand it's power more clearly and more passionately in order to fully become the witness that I need to be to others.
I guess my point is - I need to dig out this fabric line in my life and make it the main color of who I am. I want it to be the hue from which every other fabric get's it's color. It's there - it's always been there - a deep, royal purple color I think - but it's just been hidden by the reds of the world (music, movies, fads, etc . . .), the blues of self-pity, depression, unworthiness, the yellows of stubborness, self-righteousness and being fake, the oranges of worry and fear and the greens of jealousy.
So - in order to do this I need to find my foundation and my fabric color in only one place - NO - not church! - - - The Bible! - - -. I guess I did learn something in all my years of warming a pew growing up. And from my parents of course :) I DO know where to find the answers to change my perception of church and why I come each Sunday. I want my main goal on Sundays to be that I came to church to worship and learn (whether or not the drums are on beat or pastor is gone for a vacation). I want my children to see joy in my desire to go to church on Sunday, I want to forgive those that do me wrong in the church, I want to be actively involved and learn to accept dissapointment and not just seek another place of worship because "my" current church does not offer "ME" what I want! (sound selfish much?).
There are so many things that "I" want in my church. I want people to be more involved (the more people involved the less we all have to do - genius I know!), I want better equipment for the music team, I want a better sign for our church, I want a day care program, I want more people to come, I want people to be on fire for God, I want people to quit belly-aching about the small stuff and enjoy church and the true reason for why you should come, I want, I want, I want - the list is endless (yes - and selfish!) I will be the first one to admit that I judge way too often, become defensive way too quickly, become angry at injustice and stupid people (yes - I just did say that).
I'm imperfect - I go to an imperfect church - with other imperfect people - but I serve a perfect God - and he meets me at church every Sunday - and offers me a life full of royal purpulishness. - as as I walk in the front doors on Sunday mornings the only "want" I need to have is the "want" for HIM -that's what matters most!
(And in the meantime - throughout the week - I'm studying the book of John - and I'm learning to love it.)
What are your thoughts on church?
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Ugh . . . .
Do you ever feel like you life is just bleh . . . . . . I mean - you go about your normal daily routine, have a few laughs, do a few loads of laundry, enjoy maybe a cup of coffee here, a few chapters in a good book there and at the end of the day you reflect and wonder - what in the world did I actually do today and what in the world did it matter to anyone - even myself. Sometimes it seems meaningless, mundane, routine, and just plain boring. I didn't keep a kid from starving in Africa, I didn't change the world by going the speed limit to the store, I didn't drop 7 pounds by running 1 mile, I didn't attempt to encourage, uplift, or tell someone that I really, truly love them, I didn't call up the person who maybe just needed to talk - just because.
The day revolves around my family - mostly my children. They are my world and I find that rarely I tend to let anyone else a spot on our busy schedule. I am one-tract minded and just don't realize the opportunities and blessings I could have if I would just let down my guard and enjoyed life a little better. People may think I'm laid back and to a certain degree I am but if they could catch a glimpse of what was going through my brain 24/7 they would not see anything laid back about it - constantly thinking of what I have to do and when it needs to be done and who I have to see and where I need to go, and, and, and, and . . . . it's neverending and exhausting. I have always enjoyed a full plate - a busy schedule. I love to go places and do things and go, go, go. That is my comfort zone if you can call it that. Crazy huh? Apparently that is the make-up of who I am and lately I've been getting a little stressed about the things that I have going on in my days. They are meaningless the majority of the time.
I find myself thinking about the prairie days and of their monthly trips to town to get supplies and groceries, their sincere daily prayers of thanksgiving for what God provides and their heartfelt pleas for peace and safety throughout the day. I find myself envious of them - they had more chores to do and couldn't take the easy way out with our modern techonological convienences but instead found their peace in a stroll through the woods or the wheat fields - or a day of play at the creek or pond with their children, an afternoon spent with a friend sipping tea and eating cakes, or an evening around the fireplace reading bible stories and singing songs. And to say that they had it rough - - - did they? really? I believe whole-heartedly that they were more intune to God and more dependent upon him to supply their needs. They were friendlier, more polite, more reverant and respectful, more willing to lay down their daily tasks to help a neighbor or a friend in need. As I look around today I don't see much of that anymore - apart from the please and thank yous and the occasional meals that are brought to a neighbor or friend. It's sad - and I find myself thinking and wishing that if only I would have lived back then I would have been closer to God. Yes, the hardships were greater but God was more vibrant and real and so were the people. I would like to think that if given the choice I would have chosen a shorter life with deeper relationships and a keener sense of who God is and how he provides.
Unfortunately there is not much we can do to remedy this situation in our society. Maybe that is why I long for the country so badly, that maybe out there I can find a little peace from today's world. But - because I live in the here and now that should not stop me from making the most of it right? I need to buck up and be who God wants me to be here and now - in this house, in this town, with my family and the friends and neighbors that I do have.
I need to have a once a week meditation session where I just breathe, empty my mind and just "be". Be thankful, greatful and feel blessed! Even if it has to be in the bathroom with the door locked and earmuffs on to muffle the frantic "mommy" screams outside the door.
(This is a post of randomness - just thoughts compiled to together - one thing leading to another)
The day revolves around my family - mostly my children. They are my world and I find that rarely I tend to let anyone else a spot on our busy schedule. I am one-tract minded and just don't realize the opportunities and blessings I could have if I would just let down my guard and enjoyed life a little better. People may think I'm laid back and to a certain degree I am but if they could catch a glimpse of what was going through my brain 24/7 they would not see anything laid back about it - constantly thinking of what I have to do and when it needs to be done and who I have to see and where I need to go, and, and, and, and . . . . it's neverending and exhausting. I have always enjoyed a full plate - a busy schedule. I love to go places and do things and go, go, go. That is my comfort zone if you can call it that. Crazy huh? Apparently that is the make-up of who I am and lately I've been getting a little stressed about the things that I have going on in my days. They are meaningless the majority of the time.
I find myself thinking about the prairie days and of their monthly trips to town to get supplies and groceries, their sincere daily prayers of thanksgiving for what God provides and their heartfelt pleas for peace and safety throughout the day. I find myself envious of them - they had more chores to do and couldn't take the easy way out with our modern techonological convienences but instead found their peace in a stroll through the woods or the wheat fields - or a day of play at the creek or pond with their children, an afternoon spent with a friend sipping tea and eating cakes, or an evening around the fireplace reading bible stories and singing songs. And to say that they had it rough - - - did they? really? I believe whole-heartedly that they were more intune to God and more dependent upon him to supply their needs. They were friendlier, more polite, more reverant and respectful, more willing to lay down their daily tasks to help a neighbor or a friend in need. As I look around today I don't see much of that anymore - apart from the please and thank yous and the occasional meals that are brought to a neighbor or friend. It's sad - and I find myself thinking and wishing that if only I would have lived back then I would have been closer to God. Yes, the hardships were greater but God was more vibrant and real and so were the people. I would like to think that if given the choice I would have chosen a shorter life with deeper relationships and a keener sense of who God is and how he provides.
Unfortunately there is not much we can do to remedy this situation in our society. Maybe that is why I long for the country so badly, that maybe out there I can find a little peace from today's world. But - because I live in the here and now that should not stop me from making the most of it right? I need to buck up and be who God wants me to be here and now - in this house, in this town, with my family and the friends and neighbors that I do have.
I need to have a once a week meditation session where I just breathe, empty my mind and just "be". Be thankful, greatful and feel blessed! Even if it has to be in the bathroom with the door locked and earmuffs on to muffle the frantic "mommy" screams outside the door.
(This is a post of randomness - just thoughts compiled to together - one thing leading to another)
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
The "Poop" bag
Rhett has an issue with pooping in the toilet. He is completely "pee" trained and never has any of "those" accidents. However, the poop thing has been a bit frustrating. He knows when he has to go, I know when he has to go - but he refuses - every time! I will take him kicking and screaming into the bathroom and force him on the toilet only to have a severly pleading young boy griping and clawing at me to take him off the toilet.
A few weeks ago I told him that pull-ups were no longer an option and if he pooped in his underwear mom would not be happy and it would feel really yucky. It was a battle but for the past week he has gone poop in the toilet with only one accident. The times he has gone in the toilet have not been without a battle and he now waits until it's absolutely necessary to go on the toilet which means that sometimes it will be a few days before a poop. The poor kid - I truly don't know what his issue is!
So - because I refuse to continue this grueling process I've constructed something that will hopefully work. - The "poop" bag. I went to Goodwill and the Idaho Youth Ranch as well as a few yard sales and stocked up on some books that I think he would like (he loves books!) I also stocked up on a few small tokens/rewards that I hope he will enjoy. Each time he says he has to go "poop" I will pull a new book from the "poop" bag and read it to him while he goes. If he does go in the toilet he gets a surprise reward from the bag as well. If he doesn't go then the next time I will read the same book until he goes. He won't get a new book until the next time he actually goes. I'm hoping that this will work and look forward to having fun with him in the process.
Fingers crossed!
A few weeks ago I told him that pull-ups were no longer an option and if he pooped in his underwear mom would not be happy and it would feel really yucky. It was a battle but for the past week he has gone poop in the toilet with only one accident. The times he has gone in the toilet have not been without a battle and he now waits until it's absolutely necessary to go on the toilet which means that sometimes it will be a few days before a poop. The poor kid - I truly don't know what his issue is!
So - because I refuse to continue this grueling process I've constructed something that will hopefully work. - The "poop" bag. I went to Goodwill and the Idaho Youth Ranch as well as a few yard sales and stocked up on some books that I think he would like (he loves books!) I also stocked up on a few small tokens/rewards that I hope he will enjoy. Each time he says he has to go "poop" I will pull a new book from the "poop" bag and read it to him while he goes. If he does go in the toilet he gets a surprise reward from the bag as well. If he doesn't go then the next time I will read the same book until he goes. He won't get a new book until the next time he actually goes. I'm hoping that this will work and look forward to having fun with him in the process.
Fingers crossed!
Update: Rhett is now pooping in the toilet as of a week now. I started the poop bag thing 6 days ago and so far it's been a big success. Now he wants to go poop all the time and have mommy read him books. So glad he is FINALLY fully potty-trained! Just in time for me to go back to work :) Hurray!
Monday, August 15, 2011
Disneyland
The Happiest Place on Earth (but not for 2 year olds) - Disneyland
We were lucky enough this summer to get the opportunity to go to Disneyland with my husband's family. I LOVE Disneyland - always have! We had fun - especially watching the older three cousins as they experienced Disneyland. We can't wait to go back! Sidenote: (going with three 2 year olds presented a bit of a challenge but we survived)
Day 1 - Disneyland Magic Kingdom
These three had a lot of fun!
They both decided they needed hats from Disneyland!
PLUTO!
First ride of the day - Jungle Cruise!
Tarzan's treehouse!
Rhett loved the Nemo Submarine!
Waiting patiently to see Michael Jackson star in Captain Eo!
The teacups!
Day 2 - Free day - Downtown Disney & Swimming
We were lucky to have a pool at the house we rented for the week!
This was Rhett and Sawyer's favorite place to be at the pool - on the steps splashing each other.
climbing on the giant lego outside the lego store at Downtown Disney
Day 3 - California Adventure
This was all that he did while we waited in line - climbed on the railings. And it was like telling a grasshopper not to jump - impossible!
Mr. Potato head kept the kids entertained as we waited in line for the Toy Story ride
Jeremy and I rode "The Little Mermaid" ride all by ourselves so we captured the brief moment with just us!
Flik's Flyers was a highlight of the bug land
Day 4 - Six Flags
This day needs a quick synopsis just due to the nature of this blog - scrapbooking our memories. This was one of the those days that as I look back on it I remember how comical it really was. We ended up leaving a bit later than we were supposed to that morning, were stuck in LA traffic due to a car accident, ended up getting to Six Flags a little after noon. It was extruciatingly hot, entered the park with a true intent on being able to enjoy most of the rides because it didn't seem that busy. Until Jeremy, Jesse and Jim stood in line for a ride for almost 3 hours. We spent this time in the kiddy area which was fun for the kids. The adults were able to ride 2 - 3 rides the entire day. Not worth the money we spent to go! The day was definately memorable though and we learned that in the future we will probably not venture to Six Flags :)
entertaining the boys in the stroller proved to be a bit of a challenge at times.
They did pretty good most of the time!
Batman and Poseidon
Addie and Kenna on a ride!
Day 5 - Beach Day
On this day we spent the morning swimming in the pool and then spent the afternoon at Balboa Beach. It was rather cool so we did not stay for long but we were fortunate enough to spot a few dolphins a few yards from the beach which was really fun!
Mommy and Rhett at the beach!
Mommy, Rhett, Aunt Katie and cousin Owen at the pool!
He was full of sand!
Bapa Jim with his grand-daughters
Uncle Jeremy was infamous for throwing kids in the pool - and they loved it!
Kenna and Chade that is!
The waves were decent!
cousins!
The twins and their youngest sons!
The girls camel fighting in the pool! I think once Chade joined in - he won :)
Rhett buried in the sand - and his daddy decided that it would be funny to make him a mermaid!
Addie as a mermaid!
Day 6 - Disneyland Magic Kingdom
Toon town!
Addison is apparently NOT the true king of England - darn!
Waiting in line for Peter Pan's Flight!
The infamous dumbo ride!
Mickey Mouse's house!
And who was actually in his house - Mickey Mouse of course - go figure!
They found the pirate treasure on Tom Sawyer's Island!
Tinkerbell!
These two were hilarious - most of the time :)
Extremely tired after a long day at Disneyland!
Day 7 - California Adventure
Our last day at Disney! :( We spent most of the day at California Adventure and then some of the evening back at Magic Kingdom. It was a great last day!
My favorite picture of them :)
Our last day at Disney! :( We spent most of the day at California Adventure and then some of the evening back at Magic Kingdom. It was a great last day!
had to get a picture with Mater and Lightning McQueen!
My aunt, uncle and cousin just happened to be at Disneyland on this day. We were able to meet up with them for a few minutes - it was fun to see family especially when it was unexpected!
The boys LOVED getting soaked at the bugs life water area!
Don't take me treasure - Arggg!
Ariel!
Princess Tiana!
Goofy girls!
Pocahontas!
Destined for Hollywood? I kinda hope not!
These two had so much fun together!
Disneyland Parade - a must when visiting!
She would make a great pirate!
Thanks Disneyland and California for a great vacation! We had a lot of fun and made some wonderful memories.
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