Idaho's education has taken a financial hit this year and our school like many others are reeping the consequences of a fallen economy. Melba will be short $800,000 dollars next year in funding and we are one of the lucky ones in the valley. Some schools will be out millions. We are lucky enough to have put away some funds just in case this would happen and for that we are grateful. However, the school will be cutting back next year in staff and as a part-time kindergarten teacher whose position is no longer available next year I became extremely nervous and still am a little bit. We will be down at least one elementary teacher next year and with the new Luna laws it could be anyone goes - no matter if you have tenure or not. So - needless to say I'm uneasy about it!
However, since March I've had an amazing sense of peace. I know that I'm am supposed to be a teacher, that is my gift and I truly love it! I have felt so blessed to be part of such an amazing community in Melba. I also feel so blessed that God provided me with an opportunity to stay in the community that I love and work part-time so that I could be home with my two small children during this stage of their lives.
Now I am facing another turn in the road of God's will for my life. I will be teaching in Melba full-time as a 2nd grade teacher come August. I never dreamed that I would be working for the majority of my life. In my perfect plan I would be able to stay home after having kids at least until the youngest was in school full-time and then maybe go back to teaching. However, circumstances never leant themselves for me to fullfill that dream. And so - I continued to teach and love it! Maybe God knew that my dream of staying home would not be one that would come to pass and so he gave me a severe love and desire for teaching. He knew that I would have to leave my children to the care of others (much to my dismay) while I spent the day with other children. There has been nothing more difficult on me than leaving my children in the care of others. Don't get me wrong - I greatly trust those that I have left them with - the problem lies with the fact that they don't love them like I do and I hate inconviencing people and taking advantage of their ability to stay home. It is definately the worst feeling a mother could have. Knowing that you can't give them the best (which is their own mother). So - at times I feel like a failure in that department, constantly wondering if there was any way that I could change circumstances so that I could stay home. I have been blessed the last 2 and 1/2 years to be able to work part-time as a kindergarten teacher. I've enjoyed this new journey and have felt so fortunate to be able to spend more time with my children. I was hoping that this situation would continue for a few more years so that I could be home with Rhett more often. However, this year there was not the overwhelming majority of kindergarteners that we had the past few years and so my position was terminated. I was devastated! My only option that remained in Melba was back to full-time, something I was hoping to put off for a few more years.
So - I weighed my options: Stay in Melba, go back full-time, secure a safe, fun learning environment for Addison OR try to find a part-time position in a different school admist the thousands of teachers clamoring for jobs in the valley. As I prayed about this decision I realized that God desired me to remain in Melba and I have to say that I was a bit relieved. My love for that community and the kids that I've taught is no secret. I want my children to receive their education in Melba and Addison will be a full-time first grader next year. I am at peace with where God wants me and I know that I am fortunate enough to have a job in education where I get extended vacations as well as the summer off - what could be better than that (other than home full-time!).
This summer will be spent preparing for my first year as a 2nd grade teacher as well as spending time with my children and family. I am so excited to see what God has in store for us this coming school year. I look forward to teaching and having Addison with me. And I know that God will supply a place for Rhett where he will be well cared for and loved. My heart does hurt when I realize that my time with Rhett will not be the same next year and for that I will shed many tears before August. But my peace that I am walking the path of God's will surpasses any doubts that I may have. Apparently there are quite a few cute little 2nd graders that need my love and guidance this year and so I am willing to give it - teaching brings me so much joy and for that I am grateful!
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