Where tragedies abound! It is Well!

Sometimes - I find that life is pretty good, everything is as it should be. Then comes a period of intense fear, worry, wondering and grief. It comes during times of tragedy and it seems as if the phrase "when it rains it pours" holds a lot of truth. Luckily, nothing has affected my immediate family or me personally but my emotions can't help but be affected by the grief of others. The past few weeks on facebook, in the media and through word of mouth I've seen and heard a lot of heartache. And with it came another cloud over my reality.

The reality that I am mortal, liable to perish. And with that realization comes the intense awareness of small aches, pains, abnormalities that cause me to worry that my health may be in drastic danger. It sounds silly as I write it -but in my mind and my thoughts it is anything but. When the world around me is in mourning, I tend to think that my family or myself is next. Why should we be spared heartache and grief when others far more worthy of blessings are crumbling under tragedy. Anyone else feel like this sometimes?

My fear and worrisome attitude usually begins slowly and then escalates over time. When my grandparents passed away a few years ago I remember feeling this way for awhile afterwards. 

But this time . . .

I think it started in December with the gruesome fatality of an entire classroom of 1st graders at SandyHook Elementary. That hit way too close to home being a teacher myself. I - can't - even - imagine! And please note that I would put myself between my students and a crazed lunatic anytime and hopefully take that sucker out with my rapid, deadly ninja skills. (That is how it looks in my mind anyways when I imagine what would happen to any unfortunate soul entering my classroom looking to impose harm on my children) - not happening!

Then is was the Boston Marathon bombings. And with it the reality that there are still people in the world whose main goal in life is to destroy Americans. Yikes!

A local teenager stepping in front of a train and taking her own life.

The brutal murder of a solider in London by Muslim extremists in broad daylight earlier this summer.

The tornado that ripped through an elementary school, killing young children and teachers.

The news of three Grangeville teens killed in a car accident hit close to home. Grangeville is home to me and even though I don't know those teens - I know some of their families and the community and my heart breaks for them.

Jeremy's uncle was diagnosed with cancer and given a grim prognosis. However, due to the power of prayer the doctor's have reported that the cancer is contained and a plan put in place. Hope has been restored and for that we give praise.

Three unfortunate people beheaded in Syria by Muslim extremists, all chanting "Alla" and caught on camera with the lovely technology of the iphone. My memory will be forever burned with the children sitting front and center as their "hero's" decapitated three men. No, I didn't watch! I only saw the crowd, the three men and then I turned it off. And prayed!!!

Just last week 19 brave firefighter's were killed in a fire in Arizona. So tragic, so unfortunate. I grieve for those families.

Also last week we discovered that our neighbor's son committed suicide, leaving behind three small children.

And just in the past few days a small local 4 year old girl was gravely injured in a car accident.

So - when I hear of these things I worry. Fear creeps in and I succumb to the reality that we are mortal. And our world is evil.

OK - if you are still reading this (I don't blame you if you stopped - how depressing!) There is an end to this that is extremely encouraging and hopefully will cause you to sit back and relax a bit - it did for me anyways.

A few days ago my sister and I were discussing "Hymns" that we grew up singing. And how they are all but nonexistent in our churches right now, depending on which church you go to and what service you worship in. I was struck with the realization that I want my children to know and love these hymns like I do. Katie was telling me of the hymn "It is Well with my Soul" and the story behind it. This hymn has always held a special place in my heart and now I know why. It is my "go to" song when things get rough, when tragedy strikes, when we realize that we are so, so, so very small in the grand scheme of things, and when I realize that I have no control over what happens, or to whom!

This hymn now has new meaning to me, has given me a new perspective and has honestly healed me from this depth of fear that I crawled myself into. Thank you Jesus for a brave, Christian man named Horatio G. Spafford who had by all worldy rights to shake his fist at you and scream profanities. But instead, chose to praise and glorify you through it all. What a message! What a man! Here is his story . . .

Horatio G. Spafford was born on Oct. 20, 1828 in North Troy, New York. He grew up to be a successful lawyer in Chicago and was a devout Christian. In 1871 he lost his only son. That same year he had invested his money into some prime real estate along the Lake Michigan shoreline only to have it burned to the ground in a great fire. Two years after the fire Spafford planned a trip to Europe for him and his family. He had planned on traveling with his wife and four daughters but a last minute business transaction kept him in Chicago while his family went on ahead of him. His wife and daughters were traveling on the S.S. Ville Du Havre on November 22nd when it was struck by another ship and sank in minutes. His wife survived but his four daughters were lost at sea. Shortly after hearing the news of this tragedy Spafford left by ship to the place where his family's ship sank. As he passed the place where his daughter's drowned he wrote the hymn, "It is Well with my Soul".

What tragedy for one life. What heartache! I will forever remember this story when I sing this hymn and probably not be able to get through it without tears. Thank you Mr. Spafford for your inspiring words and the renewed strength they've given me. I just need to "let it be and rest in God's will" and boldy say, "It is Well with my Soul"

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blessed assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

But, Lord, 'tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul!

Again, I have written this post mostly for me. I understand that I have not personally gone through any of the tragedies described above. I'm not in "that" place. I am dealing with the spirit of fear, spurred on by these events. And this is how I cope - with writing it down.