The first time!

Today was the first time I left my oldest at school and then went home. And she is not just down the street but 15 miles away in Melba. It was a strange feeling dropping her off this morning, dressed as a common mom and not as a teacher. I observed the excitement of the first day of school from a different perspective and it was something I wasn't used to. I was able to see Addie's friends running up to her and many hugs exchanged. She was SOOO excited for school - and now I know why. Her friends are a huge blessing.

To my surprise I wasn't too sad or full of regret - I was at peace. I still heard shouts of "Mrs. Franklin" as I walked across the playground and was bombarded by former students waiting for hugs and eager chats about their summers. This I love and was so thankful for. I needed that!

So - my baby girl is a third grader - what? I am so proud of who she is and am excited to hear and see the many blessings she will get to experience this year in third grade. She has grown up so much this summer and her attitude about school has surprised me.

You see - in May she was distraught over the fact that mommy wasn't going to be teaching at her school this year. (I plan to take a year off to be with my son before he starts school.) So - I tried to comfort her in any way possible and was able to console her a little with the realization that she would be in Mrs. Spatz' class with all of her friends. She immediately decided that she would be ok. The summer came and went and last week I came to understand that Addison was moved to a different classroom. Ahhhh..... I was extremely nervous - knowing that Addie may not be emotionally "ok" with this change and tried my best to change her situation. After much prayer and discussion with the principal I was able to move her to another friend's classroom - one that I was also very comfortable with and one who I know will be great for Addie. I felt at peace about it - the funny thing is that when I told Addison about the change I expected many tears but instead she was quite calm and said, "well mom, I'm sure I will have some friends in that class too". And sure enough - as she went through the class lists she was able to find a few friends in her "new" class. She was a bit sad but not what I expected - and I realized that I was more distraught over it than she was - and it was due to the reaction that I THOUGHT she was going to have. WHAT A RELIEF!!!!!!!!!!

I was able to spend some mommy/daughter time with her last night before bed. We prayed for a great year, talked about her friends and I told her how proud I was of her. I wrote her a letter and read it to her - I had found it on pinterest but I changed it quite a bit to fit our situation. I didn't get through it without crying - and she listened with great intent, knowing exactly what I meant by the words I had written to her. She is so wise!!!! Here is the letter I wrote to her -

(Disclaimer - I changed the name of the girl I was talking about - the "real" girl had a different name)

Dear Addison,

Hey Sunshine Girl.

Tomorrow is a big day. Third Grade – wow!

Addison – When I was in third grade, there was a little girl in my class named Amber.

Amber looked a little different and she wore funny clothes and sometimes he even smelled a little bit. Amber didn’t smile. She hung her head low and she never looked at anyone at all. Amber never did her homework. I don’t think her parents reminded her like yours do. The other kids teased Amber a lot. Whenever they did, her head hung lower and lower and lower. I never teased her, but I never told the other kids to stop, either.

And I never talked to Amber, not once. I never invited her to sit next to me at lunch, or to play with me at recess. Instead, she sat and played by herself. She must have been very lonely.

I still think about Amber sometimes. I wonder if Amber remembers me?  Probably not. I bet if I’d asked her to play, just once, she’d still remember me.

I think that God puts people in our lives as gifts to us. The children in your class this year, they are some of God’s gifts to you.

So please treat each one like a gift from God.  Every single one!

Pumpkin pants, if you see a child being left out, or hurt, or teased, a part of your heart will hurt a little. Your daddy and I want you to trust that heart- ache. Your whole life, we want you to notice and trust your heart-ache. That heart ache is called compassion, and it is God’s signal to you to do something. It is God saying, Addison! Wake up! One of my babies is hurting! Do something to help! Whenever you feel compassion – be thrilled! It means God is speaking to you, and that is magic. It means He trusts you and needs you.

Sometimes the magic of compassion will make you step into the middle of a bad situation right away.

Compassion might lead you to tell a teaser to stop it and then ask the teased kid to play. You might invite a left-out kid to sit next to you at lunch. You might choose a kid for your team first who usually gets chosen last. These things will be hard to do, but you can do hard things.

Sometimes you will feel compassion but you won’t step in right away. That’s okay, too. You might choose instead to tell your teacher and then tell us. We are on your team – we are on your whole class’s team. Asking for help for someone who is hurting is not tattling, it is doing the right thing. If someone in your class needs help, please tell me. We will make a plan to help together.

When God speaks to you by making your heart hurt for another, by giving you compassion, just do something. Please do not ignore God whispering to you. I so wish I had not ignored God when He spoke to me about Amber. I remember Him trying, I remember feeling compassion, but I chose fear over compassion. I wish I hadn’t. Amber could have used a friend and I could have, too.

Addison – We do not care if you are the smartest or fastest or coolest or funniest. There will be lots of contests at school, and we don’t care if you win a single one of them. We don’t care if you get straight As. We don’t care if the boys think you’re cute or whether you’re picked first or last for kickball at recess. We don’t care if you are your teacher’s favorite or not. We don’t care if you have the best clothes or most pet shop toys or coolest hair. We just don’t care.

We don’t send you to school to become the best at anything at all. We already love you as much as we possibly could. You do not have to earn our love or pride and you can’t lose it. That’s done.

We send you to school to practice being brave and kind.

Kind people are brave people. Brave is not a feeling that you should wait for. It is a decision. It is a decision that compassion is more important than fear, than fitting in, than following the crowd.

Trust me, honey, it is. It is more important.

Don’t try to be the best this year, honey.

Just be grateful and kind and brave.

Take care of those classmates of yours, and your teacher, too. You Belong to Each Other. You are one lucky girl . . . with all of these new gifts to unwrap this year.

I love you so much that my heart might explode.

Enjoy and cherish your gifts.

And thank you for being my favorite gift of all time.

Love,

Mommy

 

I think I will make a habit of writing to my children before each school year. Reminding them of how proud we are of them and of how to treat others with kindness.

 

I'm excited for this year off with Rhett. I'm excited to see Addie through another school year from a different perspective. I'm excited to be her art mom and volunteer in her classroom. Cheers to the school year 2013-2014!!!! May it be a year of many blessings!!!

 

And I am off to get Addie a school journal. I am going to have her keep track of a few things for each school day. I am going to have her write: (1) a God sighting or blessing (2) one way she was kind (3) something that bothered her (4) any prayer requests for herself or for others (5) anything else she wants to write about her day.