So - I know a few years back I did a post about some of my confessions. It was rather liberating to admit some of them and so I'm doing another one. Mostly it will consist of things that people may not know about me, things that might embarrass some, but possibly encourage others (because you do the exact same things!!!), or things that I'm just now discovering about myself.
Here I go:
1. I have a lot of jewelry ( necklaces, bracelets, earrings, etc....) but I hardly ever wear them. Mostly I just wear a watch , my wedding ring and some earrings. I have three reasons. Reason #1: jewelry bugs me. It itches my neck, drives me crazy when I'm typing or writing, and always tends to need to be rearranged. Reason #2 - I can't afford nice jewelry - or even if I could I think I would choose to spend it on other things. Therefore, when I wear the necklaces I DO have, they smell like metal - and may or may not leave a green line around my neck, wrist or finger. Reason #3 - I'm mildly allergic to cheap metal - so my fingers and wrists will get a rash on them if I wear my "cheap" jewelry for too long.
2. Preferably my hair would be in a ponytail every day. And I would be wearing comfortable jeans and a sweatshirt. That's when I feel the most "myself".
3. I prefer the wild of the mountains and rivers to the ocean and the beaches.
4. Most people want to take a cruise to a tropical location. I would chose an Alaskan cruise! Complete with jeans, sweatshirts, warm coats, gloves, fireplaces and hot cocoa!
5. I HATE folding laundry and unloading the dishwasher. Those are the worst chores ever!
6. I love games! Any kind of game - I'm in!
7. I have a love/hate relationship with mornings. I LOVE getting up early, but I also HATE it! When the alarm goes off I HATE it, but once I'm up I LOVE it.
8. I struggle with follow-through. I will start many projects, but have a hard time finishing them.
9. The cabin is my favorite place - and England and Disneyworld!!!
10. My new year's resolutions last until about February 4th - If I'm lucky! And they don't start back up again until the following January.
11. I don't enjoy cooking and I don't like grocery shopping. Probably because I REALLY don't like to clean up the mess afterwards. And I rotate through the same 10 meals ALL the time.
12. I don't mind baking - but I have to be in the mood for it. And that means that I want to eat whatever it is that I'm baking so it's not necessarily a "good" thing.
13. I believe the Bible to be ultimate truth - nothing added, nothing subtracted.
14. I LOVE to color! with sharp crayons and many colorful markers
15. I won't let my children drink out of public water fountains. And I NEVER get water from any faucet unless it's filtered or in a sealed water bottle.
16. However, the 5 second rule stands strong when a food item is dropped on the floor.
17. Sometimes I have to stop and think, "when was the last time I actually cleaned the bathrooms?" Yikes!
18. Spontaneous Fun is always my favorite!
19. I am the teacher who will stop a lesson and run outside during the first snowfall, excited to land a few snowflakes on my tongue, with the rest of my students in tow. OR be VERY tempted to jump into a large puddle after it rains, just to soak a few unsuspecting students lurking nearby. (I have never actually done this by the way but have Really, Really wanted to).
20. I go through phases of who my favorite actors or actresses are - BUT Christian Bale has always been my fav - always!
21. I can't get enough of history - I LOVE it!
22. I ask my husband every year for a metal detector for Christmas. Finding buried treasure is on my bucket list.
23. I love, love, love the smell of books and carpet.
24. weeds will grow in my flower beds or in my yard until my husband says something about them. I refuse to notice them. They are a nuisance that I refuse to give any of my attention or time to unless absolutely necessary.
25. Harry Potter Every Flavor Beans are a really gross.
26. Cartoons these days are really dumb.
27. I miss my grandparents every day!
28. my walls are decorated with my children's artwork
29. Living in the woods, off the land, in the middle of nowhere sounds like a great plan to me.
30. If I wasn't a teacher I would love to work in a library, or read Children's books and write reviews or rate them.
Sunday, April 27, 2014
Friday, February 14, 2014
Our adventure begins . . . .
Our adventure to Africa that is!!! About a year ago when I heard that our church was going to gather people and head to Africa I immediately thought - I'm going!!! I've always wanted to visit Africa in particular. I don't know why - but my heart yearns to help them, to tell them about Jesus. And today, I'm off to do it. And I'm soooo excited!!!!
Our church put together an amazing team of people and I already love them all dearly! We have been preparing for this day in prayer and physical preparation. We already have to take two planes to Chicago so that all of our stuff will get to Africa.
On the verge of every trip - no matter where it is to, I get a bit nervous. The dreaded "what-ifs" creep up on me and crush my joyful anticipation. This morning was no different. I woke up early, prayed fervently for safety, health, my kids while I'm away, my parents, the missionaries, our team, etc . . . and then I just got out of bed and decided to do my devotions.
What a great idea that was - This is what today's passage was. Out of Jesus Calling for Feb. 14th:
Give yourself fully to the adventure today. Walk boldly along the path of Life, relying on your ever-present Companion. You have every reason to be confident, because My Presence accompanies you all the days of your life - and onward into eternity.
Do not give in to fear or worry, those robbers of abundant living. Trust Me enough to face problems as they come, rather than trying to anticipate them. Fix your eyes on Me, the Author and Perfecter of your faith, and many difficulties on the road ahead will vanish before you reach them. Whenever you start to feel afraid, remember that I am holding you by your right hand. Nothing can separate you from My Presence!
So I read this with a huge smile on my face. Of course He had this for me today, of course He did!!! And I'm relieved - and the joy has returned! I'm so excited for what God is going to do for us in Senegal. I'm anxious to get back and share our stories and pictures with everyone!
Continue to pray for us daily - that we will be able to bridge the language barrier, for safety and health and that we can adequately show them the love of Jesus.
So excited - let the adventure begin!!!!
Our church put together an amazing team of people and I already love them all dearly! We have been preparing for this day in prayer and physical preparation. We already have to take two planes to Chicago so that all of our stuff will get to Africa.
On the verge of every trip - no matter where it is to, I get a bit nervous. The dreaded "what-ifs" creep up on me and crush my joyful anticipation. This morning was no different. I woke up early, prayed fervently for safety, health, my kids while I'm away, my parents, the missionaries, our team, etc . . . and then I just got out of bed and decided to do my devotions.
What a great idea that was - This is what today's passage was. Out of Jesus Calling for Feb. 14th:
Give yourself fully to the adventure today. Walk boldly along the path of Life, relying on your ever-present Companion. You have every reason to be confident, because My Presence accompanies you all the days of your life - and onward into eternity.
Do not give in to fear or worry, those robbers of abundant living. Trust Me enough to face problems as they come, rather than trying to anticipate them. Fix your eyes on Me, the Author and Perfecter of your faith, and many difficulties on the road ahead will vanish before you reach them. Whenever you start to feel afraid, remember that I am holding you by your right hand. Nothing can separate you from My Presence!
So I read this with a huge smile on my face. Of course He had this for me today, of course He did!!! And I'm relieved - and the joy has returned! I'm so excited for what God is going to do for us in Senegal. I'm anxious to get back and share our stories and pictures with everyone!
Continue to pray for us daily - that we will be able to bridge the language barrier, for safety and health and that we can adequately show them the love of Jesus.
So excited - let the adventure begin!!!!
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
2014 - Simplify
I laughing right now - all of it is directed at me. I do this EVERY year, write a post about my goals and plans for the coming year. Only to look back on it and either realize that I was being completely unrealistic, OR am a complete failure. That is the thing about lists or goals - you either pass or fail - because we all know that if I did accomplish a few of them but not ALL of them it is still failure. In my eyes anyways.
Why do I want to live like that? I HAVE NO IDEA!!!! But goals are essential for success - I'm just not that good at attaining them. And so this year's goal is to simplify. Simplify everything. I will continue to do what is necessary for the needs of my family but my lists will get shorter, my expectations of myself will get shorter and I will choose to not feel defeated if I fail in my attempts.
Looking back, 2013 was a great year! A year of changes, a year of contentment for us. Many fond memories were made, and many good things happened. I am extremely grateful for the blessings.
2014 is a mystery to us. An adventure waiting to begin - and I get to begin this new adventure tomorrow. So many gifts are waiting for us in the new year. I get to welcome a new niece and am so excited to kiss her sweet face! I will participate in a work and witness trip to Africa in February and look forward to seeing what God has planned for the lives of his people. Rhett will start kindergarten, Addie will start 4th grade. We are planning on selling our house and either building or buying in the South Nampa area. I hope to return to work and teach kids. The horizon looks promising and I'm so excited to be who I am and where I am.
Bring it 2014 - I am ready for the adventure!
Why do I want to live like that? I HAVE NO IDEA!!!! But goals are essential for success - I'm just not that good at attaining them. And so this year's goal is to simplify. Simplify everything. I will continue to do what is necessary for the needs of my family but my lists will get shorter, my expectations of myself will get shorter and I will choose to not feel defeated if I fail in my attempts.
Looking back, 2013 was a great year! A year of changes, a year of contentment for us. Many fond memories were made, and many good things happened. I am extremely grateful for the blessings.
2014 is a mystery to us. An adventure waiting to begin - and I get to begin this new adventure tomorrow. So many gifts are waiting for us in the new year. I get to welcome a new niece and am so excited to kiss her sweet face! I will participate in a work and witness trip to Africa in February and look forward to seeing what God has planned for the lives of his people. Rhett will start kindergarten, Addie will start 4th grade. We are planning on selling our house and either building or buying in the South Nampa area. I hope to return to work and teach kids. The horizon looks promising and I'm so excited to be who I am and where I am.
Bring it 2014 - I am ready for the adventure!
Thursday, December 26, 2013
Rhett's favorites 2013
Favorite Phrase or words: “Ahh, nuts”
Favorite Food: Cheese Pizza
Favorite snack: apple slices, fruit snacks
Favorite candy: lollipops
Favorite movie: Frozen
Favorite TV Show: Scooby Doo, Garfield
Favorite book: Dragons Love Tacos
Favorite game: Skylanders Swapforce
Favorite toy: domino rally
Daily Activity: Rhett is in preschool two days a week for the first part of the day. When he’s at home he likes to watch movies, play the Wii, play with his legos or play on the kindle
Favorite Restaurant: Chapalas
Favorite activity with mom: Color
Favorite activity with dad: Play Skylanders
Favorite activity with Addie: Play house
Chores: keeping his room clean, helping fold laundry, help with Solomon
Friends: Chade, Sawyer, Owen, Eliott, Libby, Emma, Claire, Truett, Zack, Ledger, Kennedy, Kate, Aaron
Nicknames: Bruiser Boy, Rhettster, Rhett Man, Bubbies
Birthday: We were in Disneyworld for his birthday this year. We enjoyed a fun vacation and then when we came home he wanted a skylanders birthday party. I made the cake and we had the family over to celebrate.
Favorite Place: Disneyworld
Favorite thing to do outside: Play in the snow, Jump on the trampoline, swing
Favorite color: blue
Favorite Christmas present: Skylanders Swapforce
Favorite Advent activity: indoor Nerf war
Other moments:
*
* Rhett did better in swimming lessons this year. He was a bit more brave and graduated to a bigger class.
* We spent a lot of time at the cabin. He had fun throwing stuff in the river, trying to shoot the BB gun, playing in the mud and in the river, venturing down to beaver beach and roasting marshmellows around the campfire.
* He began preschool this year. He goes on Mondays and Wednesdays from 9-12pm. He goes to Messiah Lutheran preschool and he seems to enjoy it. Libby and Emma are in his class so he has a few friends. He is a fast learner and can already write his name, knows all the letters and their sounds and colors in the lines better than most. We just need to work on his “classroom” behavior skills and he will be all ready for kindergarten.
* He enjoyed our family trip to Disneyworld and was brave enough to go on most rides. His favorite was Space Mountain. We conned him into going on Tower of Terror and from then on he was scared of most everything – whoops! He LOVED Disneyworld and was able to fight Darth Vader as a Jedi.
* He recited the Christmas story again this Christmas at the Christmas Eve Service and did sooo good! He said every word, without messing up and his voice was crisp and clear. We were so proud of him.
* Rhett is such a sweet kid! He is hardly ever still, unless he is really tired, sick or playing on the kindle. He is a very active boy and we were excited to learn that he could play Upwards basketball this year. I think he’ll have a lot of fun! He does NOT like to hurt people’s feelings and is always giving me hugs and telling me he loves me. He is NOT shy and will talk to anyone, anytime, anywhere. His dad and I don’t know where he gets that from – it’s not us! We are both introverts. He is mostly compliant and hardly ever argues or gets angry. We are so fortunate for that! I’m so happy to be able to be his mom. I look forward to the many fun moments we will have in 2014!!!
Addie's favorites 2013
Favorite Phrase or words: "literally", “Rhett, STOOOOOP”
Favorite Food: broccoli cheese soup
Favorite snack: orange creamsicles
Favorite candy: kit kat
Favorite movie: Frozen
Favorite TV Show: Mighty Men, Kickin It
Favorite book: Whatever After series
Favorite game: Clue
Favorite toy: Barbies
Daily Activity: She’s in 3rd grade and loving it. When she isn’t in school she is drawing, reading, doing crafty things, watching movies or playing dress up with her American Girl or Barbies.
Mommy and Daddy love it when you: clean your room without being asked, are kind to your brother, giggle, draw us pictures
Favorite Restaurant: Olive Garden
Favorite activity with mom: crafts
Favorite activity with dad: basketball
Favorite activity with Rhett: play games
Chores: keeping her room clean, taking care of Solomon, helping with the dishes
Friends: Kenna, Brenna, Mauryn, Josie, Kinzy, Cinthia, Irma, Ramie, Ava, Charlize, Melina, Kate, Mia, Keylee, Hannah, Kendall, Tiffany, Emma
Nicknames: Addie Gracie, Addie Grace Face, Punkin Pants, Sunshine Girl, drama
Birthday: She decided to have a snowman party. She had 12 friends over and they made sock snowman, ate snowman cupcakes and drank melted snowman (water). They had a lot of fun!
Favorite Place: The mall
Favorite thing to do outside: play in the snow, jump on the trampoline
Favorite color: neon yellow, neon pink
Favorite Christmas present: Princess lalaloopsy doll
Favorite Advent activity: Getting a Christmas tree and decorating it
Prefers to wear: She wears pretty much anything, but prefers skinny jeans, cute shirts and her crocheted beanie.
Other moments:
* played her second year in Upwards basketball and really enjoyed it. She was the tallest on her team and made a lot of baskets.
* She also had swimming lessons again and did very well. Was not afraid to jump off at all – and is learning proper swimming technique.
* We discovered that she has a God given talent for shooting things. While we were at the cabin she was the best shot with a BB gun. Shooting many pop cans off of the target. Who knew?
* We enjoyed cabin trips
* I was able to go with her to Genesis camp this year. It was a circus theme.
* She began 3rd grade this year – Her teacher is Ms. Perry and she really enjoys her. She still gets into trouble from not focusing but she gets good grades and we are very proud of her.
* We took a trip to Disneyworld with Jesse, Jeni and the kids and it was a highlight of our year. It was so much fun to have the kids at this age. The weather was a lot cooler and the crowds were a bit lighter but we’ve come to realize that Disney is always busy. We had a lot of fun!
* She was a hippie rock star for Halloween with a bunch of her friends.
* She really likes to take her headphones and listen to her music on my ipone or ipod.
* She enjoys reading and sometimes I will find her somewhere in the house reading.
* She is such a ray of sunshine. She can be a bit dramatic and unappreciative at times but for the most part she likes to please others. She loves her brother and gets him to do pretty much whatever she wants – she is very manipulative. They argue quite often but their love for each other is intense and it makes this mama’s heart glad. She LOVES to give gifts and will make them constantly. Much to my surprise she was actually asking for Barbie’s, and dolls this Christmas and I happily obliged. Christmas was fun this year with her!! I’m so proud to be her mom – and look forward to the many fun moments that we will get together in 2014.
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
The first time!
Today was the first time I left my oldest at school and then went home. And she is not just down the street but 15 miles away in Melba. It was a strange feeling dropping her off this morning, dressed as a common mom and not as a teacher. I observed the excitement of the first day of school from a different perspective and it was something I wasn't used to. I was able to see Addie's friends running up to her and many hugs exchanged. She was SOOO excited for school - and now I know why. Her friends are a huge blessing.
To my surprise I wasn't too sad or full of regret - I was at peace. I still heard shouts of "Mrs. Franklin" as I walked across the playground and was bombarded by former students waiting for hugs and eager chats about their summers. This I love and was so thankful for. I needed that!
So - my baby girl is a third grader - what? I am so proud of who she is and am excited to hear and see the many blessings she will get to experience this year in third grade. She has grown up so much this summer and her attitude about school has surprised me.
You see - in May she was distraught over the fact that mommy wasn't going to be teaching at her school this year. (I plan to take a year off to be with my son before he starts school.) So - I tried to comfort her in any way possible and was able to console her a little with the realization that she would be in Mrs. Spatz' class with all of her friends. She immediately decided that she would be ok. The summer came and went and last week I came to understand that Addison was moved to a different classroom. Ahhhh..... I was extremely nervous - knowing that Addie may not be emotionally "ok" with this change and tried my best to change her situation. After much prayer and discussion with the principal I was able to move her to another friend's classroom - one that I was also very comfortable with and one who I know will be great for Addie. I felt at peace about it - the funny thing is that when I told Addison about the change I expected many tears but instead she was quite calm and said, "well mom, I'm sure I will have some friends in that class too". And sure enough - as she went through the class lists she was able to find a few friends in her "new" class. She was a bit sad but not what I expected - and I realized that I was more distraught over it than she was - and it was due to the reaction that I THOUGHT she was going to have. WHAT A RELIEF!!!!!!!!!!
I was able to spend some mommy/daughter time with her last night before bed. We prayed for a great year, talked about her friends and I told her how proud I was of her. I wrote her a letter and read it to her - I had found it on pinterest but I changed it quite a bit to fit our situation. I didn't get through it without crying - and she listened with great intent, knowing exactly what I meant by the words I had written to her. She is so wise!!!! Here is the letter I wrote to her -
(Disclaimer - I changed the name of the girl I was talking about - the "real" girl had a different name)
Dear Addison,
To my surprise I wasn't too sad or full of regret - I was at peace. I still heard shouts of "Mrs. Franklin" as I walked across the playground and was bombarded by former students waiting for hugs and eager chats about their summers. This I love and was so thankful for. I needed that!
So - my baby girl is a third grader - what? I am so proud of who she is and am excited to hear and see the many blessings she will get to experience this year in third grade. She has grown up so much this summer and her attitude about school has surprised me.
You see - in May she was distraught over the fact that mommy wasn't going to be teaching at her school this year. (I plan to take a year off to be with my son before he starts school.) So - I tried to comfort her in any way possible and was able to console her a little with the realization that she would be in Mrs. Spatz' class with all of her friends. She immediately decided that she would be ok. The summer came and went and last week I came to understand that Addison was moved to a different classroom. Ahhhh..... I was extremely nervous - knowing that Addie may not be emotionally "ok" with this change and tried my best to change her situation. After much prayer and discussion with the principal I was able to move her to another friend's classroom - one that I was also very comfortable with and one who I know will be great for Addie. I felt at peace about it - the funny thing is that when I told Addison about the change I expected many tears but instead she was quite calm and said, "well mom, I'm sure I will have some friends in that class too". And sure enough - as she went through the class lists she was able to find a few friends in her "new" class. She was a bit sad but not what I expected - and I realized that I was more distraught over it than she was - and it was due to the reaction that I THOUGHT she was going to have. WHAT A RELIEF!!!!!!!!!!
I was able to spend some mommy/daughter time with her last night before bed. We prayed for a great year, talked about her friends and I told her how proud I was of her. I wrote her a letter and read it to her - I had found it on pinterest but I changed it quite a bit to fit our situation. I didn't get through it without crying - and she listened with great intent, knowing exactly what I meant by the words I had written to her. She is so wise!!!! Here is the letter I wrote to her -
(Disclaimer - I changed the name of the girl I was talking about - the "real" girl had a different name)
Dear Addison,
Hey Sunshine Girl.
Tomorrow is a big day. Third Grade – wow!
Addison – When I was in third grade, there was a little girl
in my class named Amber.
Amber looked a little different and she wore funny clothes
and sometimes he even smelled a little bit. Amber didn’t smile. She hung her
head low and she never looked at anyone at all. Amber never did her homework. I
don’t think her parents reminded her like yours do. The other kids teased Amber
a lot. Whenever they did, her head hung lower and lower and lower. I never
teased her, but I never told the other kids to stop, either.
And I never talked to Amber, not once. I never invited her
to sit next to me at lunch, or to play with me at recess. Instead, she sat and
played by herself. She must have been very lonely.
I still think about Amber sometimes. I wonder if Amber
remembers me? Probably not. I bet if I’d
asked her to play, just once, she’d still remember me.
I think that God puts people in our lives as gifts to us.
The children in your class this year, they are some of God’s gifts to you.
So please treat each one like a gift from God. Every single one!
Pumpkin pants, if you see a child being left out, or hurt,
or teased, a part of your heart will hurt a little. Your daddy and I want you
to trust that heart- ache. Your whole life, we want you to notice and trust
your heart-ache. That heart ache is called compassion, and it is God’s signal
to you to do something. It is God saying, Addison! Wake up! One of my babies is
hurting! Do something to help! Whenever you feel compassion – be thrilled! It
means God is speaking to you, and that is magic. It means He trusts you and
needs you.
Sometimes the magic of compassion will make you step into
the middle of a bad situation right away.
Compassion might lead you to tell a teaser to stop it and
then ask the teased kid to play. You might invite a left-out kid to sit next to
you at lunch. You might choose a kid for your team first who usually gets
chosen last. These things will be hard to do, but you can do hard things.
Sometimes you will feel compassion but you won’t step in
right away. That’s okay, too. You might choose instead to tell your teacher and
then tell us. We are on your team – we are on your whole class’s team. Asking
for help for someone who is hurting is not tattling, it is doing the right
thing. If someone in your class needs help, please tell me. We will make a plan
to help together.
When God speaks to you by making your heart hurt for
another, by giving you compassion, just do something. Please do not ignore God
whispering to you. I so wish I had not ignored God when He spoke to me about
Amber. I remember Him trying, I remember feeling compassion, but I chose fear
over compassion. I wish I hadn’t. Amber could have used a friend and I could
have, too.
Addison – We do not care if you are the smartest or fastest
or coolest or funniest. There will be lots of contests at school, and we don’t
care if you win a single one of them. We don’t care if you get straight As. We
don’t care if the boys think you’re cute or whether you’re picked first or last
for kickball at recess. We don’t care if you are your teacher’s favorite or
not. We don’t care if you have the best clothes or most pet shop toys or coolest
hair. We just don’t care.
We don’t send you to school to become the best at anything
at all. We already love you as much as we possibly could. You do not have to
earn our love or pride and you can’t lose it. That’s done.
We send you to school to practice being brave and kind.
Kind people are brave people. Brave is not a feeling that
you should wait for. It is a decision. It is a decision that compassion is more
important than fear, than fitting in, than following the crowd.
Trust me, honey, it is. It is more important.
Don’t try to be the best this year, honey.
Just be grateful and kind and brave.
Take care of those classmates of yours, and your teacher,
too. You Belong to Each Other. You are one lucky girl . . . with all of these
new gifts to unwrap this year.
I love you so much that my heart might explode.
Enjoy and cherish your gifts.
And thank you for being my favorite gift of all time.
Love,
Mommy
I think I will make a habit of writing to my children before each school year. Reminding them of how proud we are of them and of how to treat others with kindness.
I'm excited for this year off with Rhett. I'm excited to see Addie through another school year from a different perspective. I'm excited to be her art mom and volunteer in her classroom. Cheers to the school year 2013-2014!!!! May it be a year of many blessings!!!
And I am off to get Addie a school journal. I am going to have her keep track of a few things for each school day. I am going to have her write: (1) a God sighting or blessing (2) one way she was kind (3) something that bothered her (4) any prayer requests for herself or for others (5) anything else she wants to write about her day.
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Where tragedies abound! It is Well!
Sometimes - I find that life is pretty good, everything is as it should be. Then comes a period of intense fear, worry, wondering and grief. It comes during times of tragedy and it seems as if the phrase "when it rains it pours" holds a lot of truth. Luckily, nothing has affected my immediate family or me personally but my emotions can't help but be affected by the grief of others. The past few weeks on facebook, in the media and through word of mouth I've seen and heard a lot of heartache. And with it came another cloud over my reality.
The reality that I am mortal, liable to perish. And with that realization comes the intense awareness of small aches, pains, abnormalities that cause me to worry that my health may be in drastic danger. It sounds silly as I write it -but in my mind and my thoughts it is anything but. When the world around me is in mourning, I tend to think that my family or myself is next. Why should we be spared heartache and grief when others far more worthy of blessings are crumbling under tragedy. Anyone else feel like this sometimes?
My fear and worrisome attitude usually begins slowly and then escalates over time. When my grandparents passed away a few years ago I remember feeling this way for awhile afterwards.
But this time . . .
I think it started in December with the gruesome fatality of an entire classroom of 1st graders at SandyHook Elementary. That hit way too close to home being a teacher myself. I - can't - even - imagine! And please note that I would put myself between my students and a crazed lunatic anytime and hopefully take that sucker out with my rapid, deadly ninja skills. (That is how it looks in my mind anyways when I imagine what would happen to any unfortunate soul entering my classroom looking to impose harm on my children) - not happening!
Then is was the Boston Marathon bombings. And with it the reality that there are still people in the world whose main goal in life is to destroy Americans. Yikes!
A local teenager stepping in front of a train and taking her own life.
The brutal murder of a solider in London by Muslim extremists in broad daylight earlier this summer.
The tornado that ripped through an elementary school, killing young children and teachers.
The news of three Grangeville teens killed in a car accident hit close to home. Grangeville is home to me and even though I don't know those teens - I know some of their families and the community and my heart breaks for them.
Jeremy's uncle was diagnosed with cancer and given a grim prognosis. However, due to the power of prayer the doctor's have reported that the cancer is contained and a plan put in place. Hope has been restored and for that we give praise.
Three unfortunate people beheaded in Syria by Muslim extremists, all chanting "Alla" and caught on camera with the lovely technology of the iphone. My memory will be forever burned with the children sitting front and center as their "hero's" decapitated three men. No, I didn't watch! I only saw the crowd, the three men and then I turned it off. And prayed!!!
Just last week 19 brave firefighter's were killed in a fire in Arizona. So tragic, so unfortunate. I grieve for those families.
Also last week we discovered that our neighbor's son committed suicide, leaving behind three small children.
And just in the past few days a small local 4 year old girl was gravely injured in a car accident.
So - when I hear of these things I worry. Fear creeps in and I succumb to the reality that we are mortal. And our world is evil.
OK - if you are still reading this (I don't blame you if you stopped - how depressing!) There is an end to this that is extremely encouraging and hopefully will cause you to sit back and relax a bit - it did for me anyways.
A few days ago my sister and I were discussing "Hymns" that we grew up singing. And how they are all but nonexistent in our churches right now, depending on which church you go to and what service you worship in. I was struck with the realization that I want my children to know and love these hymns like I do. Katie was telling me of the hymn "It is Well with my Soul" and the story behind it. This hymn has always held a special place in my heart and now I know why. It is my "go to" song when things get rough, when tragedy strikes, when we realize that we are so, so, so very small in the grand scheme of things, and when I realize that I have no control over what happens, or to whom!
This hymn now has new meaning to me, has given me a new perspective and has honestly healed me from this depth of fear that I crawled myself into. Thank you Jesus for a brave, Christian man named Horatio G. Spafford who had by all worldy rights to shake his fist at you and scream profanities. But instead, chose to praise and glorify you through it all. What a message! What a man! Here is his story . . .
Horatio G. Spafford was born on Oct. 20, 1828 in North Troy, New York. He grew up to be a successful lawyer in Chicago and was a devout Christian. In 1871 he lost his only son. That same year he had invested his money into some prime real estate along the Lake Michigan shoreline only to have it burned to the ground in a great fire. Two years after the fire Spafford planned a trip to Europe for him and his family. He had planned on traveling with his wife and four daughters but a last minute business transaction kept him in Chicago while his family went on ahead of him. His wife and daughters were traveling on the S.S. Ville Du Havre on November 22nd when it was struck by another ship and sank in minutes. His wife survived but his four daughters were lost at sea. Shortly after hearing the news of this tragedy Spafford left by ship to the place where his family's ship sank. As he passed the place where his daughter's drowned he wrote the hymn, "It is Well with my Soul".
What tragedy for one life. What heartache! I will forever remember this story when I sing this hymn and probably not be able to get through it without tears. Thank you Mr. Spafford for your inspiring words and the renewed strength they've given me. I just need to "let it be and rest in God's will" and boldy say, "It is Well with my Soul"
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blessed assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
But, Lord, 'tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!
And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul!
Again, I have written this post mostly for me. I understand that I have not personally gone through any of the tragedies described above. I'm not in "that" place. I am dealing with the spirit of fear, spurred on by these events. And this is how I cope - with writing it down.
The reality that I am mortal, liable to perish. And with that realization comes the intense awareness of small aches, pains, abnormalities that cause me to worry that my health may be in drastic danger. It sounds silly as I write it -but in my mind and my thoughts it is anything but. When the world around me is in mourning, I tend to think that my family or myself is next. Why should we be spared heartache and grief when others far more worthy of blessings are crumbling under tragedy. Anyone else feel like this sometimes?
My fear and worrisome attitude usually begins slowly and then escalates over time. When my grandparents passed away a few years ago I remember feeling this way for awhile afterwards.
But this time . . .
I think it started in December with the gruesome fatality of an entire classroom of 1st graders at SandyHook Elementary. That hit way too close to home being a teacher myself. I - can't - even - imagine! And please note that I would put myself between my students and a crazed lunatic anytime and hopefully take that sucker out with my rapid, deadly ninja skills. (That is how it looks in my mind anyways when I imagine what would happen to any unfortunate soul entering my classroom looking to impose harm on my children) - not happening!
Then is was the Boston Marathon bombings. And with it the reality that there are still people in the world whose main goal in life is to destroy Americans. Yikes!
A local teenager stepping in front of a train and taking her own life.
The brutal murder of a solider in London by Muslim extremists in broad daylight earlier this summer.
The tornado that ripped through an elementary school, killing young children and teachers.
The news of three Grangeville teens killed in a car accident hit close to home. Grangeville is home to me and even though I don't know those teens - I know some of their families and the community and my heart breaks for them.
Jeremy's uncle was diagnosed with cancer and given a grim prognosis. However, due to the power of prayer the doctor's have reported that the cancer is contained and a plan put in place. Hope has been restored and for that we give praise.
Three unfortunate people beheaded in Syria by Muslim extremists, all chanting "Alla" and caught on camera with the lovely technology of the iphone. My memory will be forever burned with the children sitting front and center as their "hero's" decapitated three men. No, I didn't watch! I only saw the crowd, the three men and then I turned it off. And prayed!!!
Just last week 19 brave firefighter's were killed in a fire in Arizona. So tragic, so unfortunate. I grieve for those families.
Also last week we discovered that our neighbor's son committed suicide, leaving behind three small children.
And just in the past few days a small local 4 year old girl was gravely injured in a car accident.
So - when I hear of these things I worry. Fear creeps in and I succumb to the reality that we are mortal. And our world is evil.
OK - if you are still reading this (I don't blame you if you stopped - how depressing!) There is an end to this that is extremely encouraging and hopefully will cause you to sit back and relax a bit - it did for me anyways.
A few days ago my sister and I were discussing "Hymns" that we grew up singing. And how they are all but nonexistent in our churches right now, depending on which church you go to and what service you worship in. I was struck with the realization that I want my children to know and love these hymns like I do. Katie was telling me of the hymn "It is Well with my Soul" and the story behind it. This hymn has always held a special place in my heart and now I know why. It is my "go to" song when things get rough, when tragedy strikes, when we realize that we are so, so, so very small in the grand scheme of things, and when I realize that I have no control over what happens, or to whom!
This hymn now has new meaning to me, has given me a new perspective and has honestly healed me from this depth of fear that I crawled myself into. Thank you Jesus for a brave, Christian man named Horatio G. Spafford who had by all worldy rights to shake his fist at you and scream profanities. But instead, chose to praise and glorify you through it all. What a message! What a man! Here is his story . . .
Horatio G. Spafford was born on Oct. 20, 1828 in North Troy, New York. He grew up to be a successful lawyer in Chicago and was a devout Christian. In 1871 he lost his only son. That same year he had invested his money into some prime real estate along the Lake Michigan shoreline only to have it burned to the ground in a great fire. Two years after the fire Spafford planned a trip to Europe for him and his family. He had planned on traveling with his wife and four daughters but a last minute business transaction kept him in Chicago while his family went on ahead of him. His wife and daughters were traveling on the S.S. Ville Du Havre on November 22nd when it was struck by another ship and sank in minutes. His wife survived but his four daughters were lost at sea. Shortly after hearing the news of this tragedy Spafford left by ship to the place where his family's ship sank. As he passed the place where his daughter's drowned he wrote the hymn, "It is Well with my Soul".
What tragedy for one life. What heartache! I will forever remember this story when I sing this hymn and probably not be able to get through it without tears. Thank you Mr. Spafford for your inspiring words and the renewed strength they've given me. I just need to "let it be and rest in God's will" and boldy say, "It is Well with my Soul"
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blessed assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
But, Lord, 'tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!
And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul!
Again, I have written this post mostly for me. I understand that I have not personally gone through any of the tragedies described above. I'm not in "that" place. I am dealing with the spirit of fear, spurred on by these events. And this is how I cope - with writing it down.
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